Sacred Rebellion

Activation 6 – Revelations of a New Rhythm

🔥 Battle-Tested Beauty

Entry Seven: My Sacred Rebellion

This week felt like rebellion — not the kind that burns things down, but the kind that builds something stronger.
Something honest. Something mine.

I honored my craving for love first.
I prioritized my relationship, fully present, and I didn’t feel guilty.
I let myself want what I wanted — time away, connection, quiet — without justifying it.
And that’s not small. That’s huge. Because for so long, I’ve lived like joy was something I had to earn.

And here’s the truth:
I’m realizing how much joy I still deny myself, in almost every area.
The lie I’ve believed is that feeling good is dangerous.
That if I’m too happy, I’ll lose control, or someone will resent it, or I’ll owe more to the world.
But that lie is dissolving now.

I caught myself this week… almost slipping into the old story:
"You’re behind. You’ve lost time."
But it’s not true.
The only thing I’ve been losing is presence when I let that thought lead.
When I stay here — right now — everything feels more alive, more possible.

And there’s another truth I can’t unsee anymore:
I crave independence.
Not just financial — emotional, energetic, all of it.
I want to move through life knowing I’m choosing everything because I want to, not because I’m trying to keep peace or prove worth.

The biggest rebellion of all?
I said no to guilt.
I said no to playing the victim, even in subtle ways.
Because every time I sit in that energy, I attract suffering that isn’t even mine.
This week, I decided:

“I am not available for that anymore.”

And with that no came something wild —
freedom.
The kind of freedom that feels like an open field, like the first breath after a storm.

I’m noticing I don’t want to be around the same conversations anymore.
Not because I think I’m better,
but because I can feel the dissonance now.
What doesn’t match me falls away naturally.
And I’m okay with that.
In fact, I’m grateful for it — because it shows me where I’m telling the truth.

I’m still human. I still catch myself comparing sometimes,
especially with friends who care more about things I don’t anymore.
But then I remember —
I’m not here for the same game.
I’m here for something deeper, wilder, freer.

This rebellion isn’t loud.
It’s quiet, but unshakable.
It’s in the way I walk into a room lighter because I didn’t betray myself today.
It’s in the way I let myself laugh, rest, or love without permission.
It’s in the way I say yes to my own body’s whispers — water, movement, touch, stillness — and no longer apologize for needing it.

And every time I do, I feel it:
My rhythm is changing.
And with it, everything else will too.